Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
