Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Randomize
