i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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