your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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