she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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