So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
im holly from the hills drunk
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
