I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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