I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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