Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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