Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
