You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
