Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
