And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think a kid would responsible me up
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
