My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
