is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
