She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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