haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
