In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
no, he came in my armpit
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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