tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
