a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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