I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This is my gift to your gina
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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