I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
