It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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