He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
