Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
