Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
