If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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