I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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