Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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