Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
