she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize