how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
