Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
