You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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