YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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