man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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