Nicole vs. Life
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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