look no pants
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
