I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
