OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Randomize
