Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
