yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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