omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
