Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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