He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
