tell your sister to shave her snatch
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
