so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
