wanna go halves on a baby?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
