i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
