Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
