Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
